It’s better to stay outside on the roof of your house than to live inside with a nagging wife. Proverbs 21:9
Fellas, how many times have you heard your wife start a conversation with… “How come you didn’t…?”
How come you didn’t stop and get some milk or put my mama’s birthday card in the mail?
The list can get real long, real fast like an ancient Chinese scroll rolling down the steps of an imperial palace.
A Remedy For The Overwhelmed Mind
The funny thing about this experience is that a lot of times it results from a lack of communication and an overwhelmed mind. The mind of a typical guy doesn’t hop from one thing to another as often as his female counterparts, which is good because in life you need both the ability to multi-process and have a laser focus in varying amounts. The problem comes when we forget this fact about each other.
So, communicate this to your spouse regularly if necessary.
After all, communication is the key to a healthy marriage.
For example, I’ve told my wife not to give me any more than three things to remember at any given time. Because anything beyond that, I’m going to have to treat you like Twitter and cut you off. Two hundred fifty characters are all you get baby girl!
Learn To Control Your Emotions
Over the years, I have learned not to waste my time boiling over with frustration when she “raises awareness” that I forgot two of the fifty-eight things at the grocery store. I started with 12 but she called me five times while I was in pursuit of the original list and my brain locked up.
Do you see my dilemma?
Just picture trying to dump five pounds of dry grits down the garbage disposal.
So, I began to save myself some opportunities to fail and went about educating my wife about the beauty and utility of this mythical and potent item known as a “List.”
This pragmatic tool is preloaded and available to be amended at a moment’s notice. Employing this formidable asset completely removes my wandering mind from the equation. I need to focus on the road, so I don’t get hit by the guy next to me on the phone who is swerving aggressively. I bet he just got a phone call with some “amendments” to his original list, which is in his head.
Finally, Nagging Has Met Its Match!
Some hard-won lessons have given me a proper perspective on what is going on between us as man and wife. Our wives have a tendency for order and stability, which leads them to recognize things like a noisy toilet, high grass, broken toilet paper holder and an ever-expanding water stain on the ceiling as items that need to be addressed so that stability is secured.
Guys, on the other hand, operate much like the local fire department in the sense that what triggers them is the sound of an alarm signaling a major emergency. The noisy toilet is not a fire in your mind, so you will probably just cut the fan on to try and drown out the sound. As long as your flush still works, there may be no urgency in addressing it.
Oh, and what about that water stain on the ceiling?
Again, it is not an emergency because the water only drips on his wife’s side of the couch. However, if a whiff of vapor gets near your flat-screen TV during the playoffs, then you have no choice but to call for reinforcements. After all, it’s game seven!
If you want an end to being “hassled” by their better halves, you should make the shift from the Fire Department to Codes Enforcement. The good people down at Code Enforcement are all about recognition and prevention, so let’s take a page from their playbook.
This is the secret to possessing anti-nag technology!
Being a Touch More PROactive Will Help Stop Nagging In Its Tracks!
The ability to recognize an issue and act on it before it is brought to your attention will build mounds of political capital with the wife. Instead of having the toilet paper fall off the wall and roll just outside your reach when you need it the most, you should get ahead of that problem. Have you ever had to duck-walk with your pants around your ankles trying to chase a renegade roll of TP? Not a good look.
So, how can you secure Anti-Nag technology for yourself?
By following these practical steps, you can set you up for even better success!
- Ask your wife what it is that she needs you to do, then make a list for yourself.
- Show your wife that you understand the importance of these tasks
- Discuss how you plan on tackling them.
- Time is of the essence! Don’t let the grass grow under your feet gentlemen.
- Trust the process.
- Follow through and execute the game plan.
- After you have tackled the items on your list, politely update your wife.
Now gentlemen don’t blow it, or it will all be for nothing. DO NOT immediately stand on the coffee table with your chest out waiting for a medal or expect applause from your wife.
Acknowledgment for being proactive and attentive to your wife’s needs will come when you least expect it.
So, What’s In It For Me?
You may be asking yourself, why would I put forth the effort to be proactive, especially, if there isn’t a chance for a medal or applause? In the end, what is in it for me?
A sense of control is what’s in it for you!
Since you’re going to have to knock this stuff out anyway, you might as well be in control of the solution, wouldn’t you agree?
Allow me to let you in on a little secret. Women tell me al the time they love seeing their man in action.
None of them will tell you that their loins were on fire at the site of their husband napping on the couch with a spoon stuck to his chest from the pint of ice cream he just punished.
Actually, the opposite of this is true and will bear itself out when your wife sees you handling things even before she is aware of them.
Seeing you in action and ahead of a problem, really gets the fires burning, and so, in this case, desirability is what’s in it for you.
Many times when we experience nagging from our wife, it is our wife’s reaction to the problems we have with ourselves.
She isn’t hopping up and down because you haven’t knocked down that hornet’s nest over the baby’s crib, well maybe she is.
However, she is irate at the fact that certain deficits in your manhood allowed you to think that there is no threat from the wasp and that the buzzing and humming should actually be soothing to the baby.
Of course, this is all self-explanatory, and the room for improvement is obvious because you should be sensitive to threats to your family, such as an infant getting lit up by angry insects. In this case, it is personal growth, initiative and a wife’s precious trust that is in it for you.
Once the Anti-Nag Anecdote has been applied what sort of results can I expect?
Your results will vary.
Regardless, I want you to realize order and stability are important to our wives. When they are surrounded by chaos and disorder, it is hard for them to see us in those moments.
You guys could have been sexting back and forth all day and anticipating grand fireworks on arriving home. However, one sweaty pair of performance briefs on the kitchen floor will evaporate that moment in nanoseconds.
Happy Wife, Happy Life
The truth is your wife wants to spend time with you and connect and do whatever happens next, but you have to be a beast when it comes to handling the things that require your talents. When her radar is clear, she can see in full view the mighty titan of love that she married, and for that, she may just salute you, if you know what I mean.
Love well my fellow ProHusbands, put these tips into practice and I’d love to hear how about your story and results in the comments below.