Mastering Moments in Your Marriage

There is an old saying that urges us to remember that time waits for no one. It does not pause on our account nor does it change its pace for our convenience.

It simply is what it is and continues to roll forward without any regard for anyone.

Time has its own schedule to keep and is not worried about me or you.

I’m mentioning time because we all spend it, whether we like it or not, but few of us spend it well and we suffer in our personal lives and relationships as a result.

There are far too many of us racing to get to the top without realizing that it is not very far from the bottom, meaning that there is no amount of treasure or status that can cover up or make up for our absence within our relationships.

There is no amount of cash that you can swap in exchange for seeing your kid win a competition for the first time.

There is no apology deep enough to help cover up the disappointment of a missed anniversary or overlooking a small win your spouse may have had at work.

You see, our relationships are bound by time just like everything else in this universe.

Our lives are but series of moments that welcomes us to the stage like a game show host offering us a chance to win either a beautiful moment with a memory attached or a Billy goat with a lifetime supply of feed.

So when you are confronted with these moments every day, try to dominate them in a way that is beneficial to your relationship. Let’s look at three in particular.

For example, when you first wake up in the morning, there is a moment right there where you could embrace your spouse and show them that you love them instead of checking social media to see what strangers are having for breakfast.

It is crucial to capture that moment because as busy as we all are, that may be the only real chance you have for a focused exchange before the day jumps on you.

The second moment is midday when you are on your lunch break. This moment allows you to press pause on your workload long enough to eat and collect yourself.

Is it feasible to say that you could easily shoot your spouse a quick text message and let them know you are thinking about them? Perhaps you could let them know that you appreciate them for something specific.

You see, all of us are alike in the sense that we all want to feel valued and we want to know that our efforts are appreciated, not two weeks from now, but in that moment or as close to it as possible.

The reason for this is that when people are extending themselves for the benefit of others and there “appears” to be no appreciation or acknowledgment, then people will start taking their foot off the gas and start doing the bare minimum.

The third and last moment I want to talk about is extremely crucial and that is the moment before you go to sleep.

You and countless couples across the country are hopping in the bed and cutting on the TV and watching it until it starts watching you as you drift off into a deep sleep.

The danger here is that your spouse is sitting right next to you or maybe on a couch somewhere else and neither one of you knows how your respective days went.

On top of that, you may also not know whether or not your spouse needs you at that moment.

They could be looking at the screen, but their mind is mired in a pile of thoughts and feelings that are creating distance between you and you may not even recognize it.

If you do not silence the distractions like TV, Social Media, Kids etc. then you will have missed a moment to come to the rescue.

Sometimes your spouse may not always be in a mindset that will allow them to signal for help so you need to check on them.

Let’s be honest, we live in a fast-paced society now and you are being marketed to twenty-four hours a day and everybody wants your money or your information.

Conversely, your spouse isn’t trying to SELL you anything, they are just trying to BUY a little bit of your time and attention.

So I ask you this if we only have very few moments to spend each day, where should our loyalties lie? With something digital or something natural?

Let’s be our best for each other and connect as your love-life depends on it because it does…

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